Well, it's after Christmas.. and honestly, it wasn't the best. My dad worked the whole weekend, my aunt wasn't able to come over, my grandma only stayed for about an hour.. all in all it sucked. It wouldn't really be so bad if this weren't my last Christmas. But after this year, this won't ever really be my home anymore.. at least it won't feel like it will. I'll only be living here during winter break and summer and... it just won't ever be the same again. It's so sad to think about... I feel a little like my life is over. I know i'm just being dramatic but still.. this part of my life really is about to end and it really makes me sad sometimes.. but then the rest of the time I just can't wait to get out of here... god this sucks. I don't even know what I want anymore...

Also, my eating has been completely awful.. I'm so fat it's disgusting. I need school to start so I'm not constantly tempted. Plus, for some reason, I always do better in the second semester of school. Don't know why, but I just do. Last year I got down to 100 pounds. God how I just want to get back to that now.. sigh... I don't know why this time is so hard..